Come to Terms with Feeling Ugly

Come to Terms with Feeling Ugly

Are you tired of looking in the mirror and getting depressed, of avoiding your own reflection, and feeling awkward in social situations? Well don’t despair – most of the time, ugliness is just an attitude we put on. But even when it’s a real physical deformity or lack, it can always be overcome.

  • Smile. Believe it or not, smiling or not smiling makes up most of what people think of as “attractive.” If you think back on movies you’ve seen, which leading men really stood out as the handsome, attractive ones? Guaranteed, they got at least one big, genuine smile over to the audience during the film. Our brains are programmed to be attracted to smiles from the time we are infants, and it can do miracles toward putting that ‘special something’ into your otherwise unremarkable face. If people don’t even remember what you look like, often, they will be able to recall your genuine grin or laugh.

  • Be open to thinking of yourself as attractive. Most of the time, people who feel that they are ugly shut themselves off from the rest of the world for fear that it will hurt them. In their opinion, the world’s expected disapproval seems deserved. It is not. Most of the time, others only respond to a person as ‘ugly’ because that person responds to themselves as ‘ugly.’

  • Stand looking into the mirror, and react to what you see as if it were another person. Treat yourself with the common decency you’d show to a stranger. You’d never walk up to a stranger and say, “Wow, look at how ugly you are!” So don’t do it to yourself. Be polite to yourself, and offer to help that person in the mirror in any way that you can, to look better and to feel better about how they do look, and then actually do it! Common courtesy to yourself can go a long way toward breaking the image of ‘ugly’ in your mind.

  • Dress well, and groom as if you were going out, every day. This means wear the nice pants, iron your shirts, make your hair look as good as it will get. This may seem a tedious waste at first, since those who are convinced they’re ugly are usually tempted to hide at home and never see anyone all day. When you get used to looking nice all day, you will begin to automatically think ‘I look nice’ as an automatic reaction, and you will interact with other people with confidence.

  • Keep it up. No matter how silly you feel at first, remember the steps: smile, be open to thinking of yourself as attractive, treat yourself as courteously and helpfully as you would a to stranger, and groom yourself well. Progress can come gradually, and it’s only a fast-food mentality that says we have to have everything overnight.

  • Get a new hairstyle, wear some make-up, and treat yourself well. Change your look around, see which fits you best. A new haircut can do wonders in your confidence!

  • Be open to friendship! You will see when you get more friends, you will have your own self confidence to the point where you will be ready see yourself as pretty.

  • Remember, some of our favorite ‘attractive’ people really aren’t very good looking! Some celebrities we see aren’t really what an artist would call the paragon of beauty. Many are beautiful in non-classical ways. Above all, it’s their attractive, delightful, energetic spirits that we love. Beauty is a laugh; it’s not in the shape of an eyebrow, it’s in how you USE that eyebrow. In fact, the most well-recalled people are usually remembered just as much for their unique facial features as they are for their good classic ones!

    Beauty is just as much of an illusion as ugliness is. Take the make-up off your favorite supermodel, and you’d be shocked to realize she looks just like you did in high school. Even if she doesn’t, put her in some old unkempt clothes and make her think she’s ugly, and you’d be amazed at the transformation; from supermodel to average in a day.

  • Self-confidence is more attractive than physical beauty. Stand-up straight, hold your head up high, and look people in the eye. SMILE!

  • Exercise. If you feel down and don’t belong to a gym, take a 30-minute brisk walk. Sometimes a person will think that their situation is causing their unhappiness, when in actuality the feeling of unhappiness just latched onto something random. Regular exercise is as good as anti-depressants in raising one’s mood and thus making you feel better overall, thus more likely to appreciate yourself rather than tearing yourself down.

  • Remember that not all people find the same physical aspects attractive and the traits a person may find unattractive in themselves, other people may find beautiful. Also remember that a lot, if not most, people aren’t looking for ‘beauty’ in their friends or mates. Hollywood and the media brainwash us to think too much in terms of beauty.

    If you are unsure of how to dress well, find someone you see on a daily basis who you think looks

  • good/happy/confident. Notice what they wear and find articles in your own wardrobe that are similar and try to emulate their style. Dress comfortably and as yourself; if it feels like your belly is hanging over your jeans waist, that doesn’t make you feel good about yourself so give those jeans away.

    Tell yourself that you are beautiful, and act beautiful and kind by your own standards.

  • Remember, beauty is relative. Don’t change yourself to impress some one. The best thing to do is be who you are.

    Keep in mind, You and You Only are your own worst critic.

  • When you develop confidence, you’ll become a lot easier on yourself.

    Be who you are and you will always be happy!

  • Avoid the superficial types of people who judge or choose others based on their appearance rather than on who they are as a person and what they have to offer the world.

Reference:My Brain


One thought on “Come to Terms with Feeling Ugly

  1. dreamerrambling 26/11/2013 / 4:29 PM

    I came to terms with my ugliness through thinking about my own existence in the grand scheme of things. It’s one of the reasons blogging has been so cathartic for me.

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